Community... What It Is, and What It Isn't

Today has been an interesting day. It has been both beautiful and dreadfully hurtful at the same time.

I will start with the good.

A few days ago, I interviewed with Connecting Memphis. A project similar to ones like Humans of New York, and other photography/interview projects that aim to bring communities closer together. The woman who runs it is SUPER sweet. She is an adoptive mom, and we had a long discussion about adoption. I have the link to the interview here. 

Well, it was posted today, and there was SO much outpouring of love. Not a single judgement or criticism. There were some honest questions, and they received honest answers. I was thankful that people chose to ask those questions. It made my day start out amazingly.

Well, then it went downhill. I have a very close and dear friend who has been there for me and has supported me through a lot, while she herself has been going through some EXTREMELY rough times. Well, long story short, things went very badly for her, very quickly, and a community that claims to be there for mothers in our area turned their backs on her. People who didn't even KNOW her in real life, and even those who claimed to be some of her best friends turned around and stabbed her in the back. The actions of people very nearly destroyed her. I am so thankful that they didn't. She has a long hard road ahead of her, and instead of having a huge group of other mamas to turn to, she has only the few of us who are lucky enough to know her in real life.

I got to spend a couple hours with her. This woman, who I have never seen break before, especially not in public, came extremely close to actually crying in public.

She has been through hell, and is working on coming back.

I saw two communities today.

I saw a community of strangers reach out with words of kindness, love, and affirmation. And with what happened to my friend, I saw some of her other true friends speak up and speak out against the unfairness that was going on.

I saw a community of women and mothers who turned their back on one of their own when she needed them the most.

Which community do we need more of? And in the same line of questioning... which one do we see more of?

We cannot change anything unless we decide that we need to be members of the first community, not the second. Being members of the second destroys people. Being members of the first builds them up.

From the Oxford Dictionary, the definition of community is as follows. "The condition of sharing or having certain attitudes and interests in common."

So we have the opportunity to decide which community we want to be a part of, and which community we want to help grow and expand... I know for me? I want to be a part of the first.

Which side of the fence will you choose in your life? Which community will you choose?

I leave this with you with Christ's love,

Tabitha.